The loss of a spouse can be devastating. This is particularly true when a man or woman becomes a widow after a lengthy marriage.
One of the first realizations for many widows is how things have changed. The changes are both large and small. Who gets the mail may change. Grocery lists change. Meals may change, and even television viewing habits may be adjusted.
These changes can lead to constant self-talk. This self-talk can often turn negative and this negative self-talk can also turn into negative beliefs.
In this post, our focus will be on grieving widows and how managing self-talk can help them move forward.
What Is Self-Talk?
Self-talk is an inner dialogue we have with ourselves. It can be verbal or unspoken, and it can be positive in nature or have negative effects.
Positive self-talk can serve as motivation and a positive influence. Negative self-talk can be limiting and self-destructive.
Self-talk can increase following the loss of a spouse as we struggle to grasp our new reality.
Self-Talk and the Ability to Heal
Self-talk can have a significant impact on how a widow can handle grief and heal.
Negative self-talk often uses limiting words like “can’t,” “wouldn’t,” and “shouldn’t.” This can add to the feeling of hopelessness.
On the other hand, exchanging this negative self-talk with more positive language can empower a grieving person.
Using words and phrases like “It won’t always be this way,” “I can,” and “I will” can keep a light shining on the future. This is a light that will get brighter as we shift negative self-talk to more positive and healing language.
Strategies for Managing Negative Thoughts
It can be helpful to distinguish between negative thoughts and beliefs.
Question whether the negative thoughts that are being experienced are, in fact, truths or simply what you may be emotionally feeling.
Take steps, even small ones, to refrain from these negative thoughts with more positive ones. Adjust your perspective to enhance. Proactively shift “can’ts” and “won’ts to “can” and “will.”
Reinforce the power of this language through constant and consistent repetition.
The Benefits of Professional Assistance
Professional counseling can provide a valuable safe space for widows to express their feelings. It can be helpful in reminding a widow that, as difficult as losing a spouse can be, they are not alone.
We Are Here to Help
Some of the first and most important decisions you may have to make involve the planning of a spouse’s funeral. It is one of the major reasons preplanning is thoughtful. Preplanning can help reduce stress and decision-making following the death of a spouse.
If you are in current need or would like guidance in preplanning a funeral, we invite you to reach out to the Cremation Society of Northern Kentucky. We would be honored to serve you.
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